


Free Fall

by White_Noise



Series: The Casualty of War Series [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt Tony Stark, M/M, Not A Fix-It, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Civil War (Marvel), Steve's Pov, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-19 00:06:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7336672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/White_Noise/pseuds/White_Noise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is how people fall. Walking, one step in front of the other. All it really takes is a shift in the ground, a rock suddenly falling away, the buckling of an ankle and suddenly we are in free fall. The landing is going to hurt and we try to protect ourselves as best we can before the inevitable crash.</p><p>Steve is in free fall. And about to crash.</p><p>Companion piece to 'Casualty of War'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Free Fall

**Author's Note:**

> Ask and you shell receive. 
> 
> Steve's POV from the events of Casualty of War.

How do people fall down? 

One step in front of the other. All it really takes is a shift in the ground, a rock suddenly falling away, the buckling of an ankle and suddenly we are in free fall. We know the landing is going to hurt and we try to protect ourselves as best we can before the inevitable crash.

Betrayal is like that horrible moments when you are caught between steady ground and the fall. 

Steve thought he had already experienced that crash. 

When Bucky had collapsed to the ground, his arm missing. 

When Tony had looked at him, mixture of disbelief and hatred in those normally warm brown eyes as his parents were murdered onscreen.

In the snark comments both Scott and Clint had directed towards Tony when Steve had pulled them from the raft. 

In the silent confusion of Sam’s gaze as the man wordlessly asked what had happened. 

In the lifeless defeat in Wanda before Steve had broken the suppressor collar from around her neck.

Wakanda was stiflingly hot yet Steve could still feel the ice cold of Siberia. Could feel the cold rage as his best friend had been attacked by the man he loved. The cold he had felt when Tony refused to listen, to understand that Steve had been trying to protect him from what Hydra had done. Because it wasn’t Bucky who had murdered Howard and Maria. 

The Winter Solider had been responsible. Bucky was not the Winter Solider. The Winter Soldier was a Hydra creation. Bucky would never take the life of someone who had been a friend to them both. He could never have killed Howard.

Tony hadn’t understood that. He had lashed out in rage. Steve had needed to stop him. And he had. 

Steve regretted the violence that had taken place. That moment when he had raised the shield, intending to bring it down on Tony’s unprotected head, intending to kill the man pinned underneath him. 

He had wanted to punish Tony. Punish the man he loved for not following him, for refusing to believe that the Accords were wrong. For siding with Ross against them. 

He had realised his mistake the moment he had brought the shield down on Tony’s chest, the breastplate buckling under the force as the Arc Reactor shattered and died, disabling the suit. 

Steve already knew that Tony no longer relied on the device to live but he had still felt that flash of fear, fear that he had just killed the man. 

Steve had retreated as fast as he could, grabbing Bucky and leaving before Tony could say anything more than he already had. Before Tony could beg for help and even worse, tell Steve he no longer loved him. 

It was why it had taken Steve so long to send the phone. To write the letter.

He had wanted to offer the olive branch to Tony but was so scared. 

Tony had always been prideful. It was almost endearing at times, how stubborn the man could be. 

But even Tony must have known that they needed to talk. That apologies needed to be given by both of them if they were ever to bring the Avengers back. 

Steve wasn’t an idiot. He knew Tony needed time to heal, time to think about what had happened and he wasn't going to push him into it.

Steve would be waiting. Wait for Tony to come back to him so he could finally explain. 

He knew keeping the secret of his parent’s murder from Tony had been the wrong thing to do. 

He had always expected that he would tell Tony eventually, but he had never found the time. Tony had always been so happy with the Avengers and Steve had never had the heart to break the news, to destroy Tony’s happiness. He loved him and wanted to protect him.

And it had exploded in his face. 

Steve just wanted Tony happy again.

He didn’t want any more fighting. He didn’t want to hear about the Accords or the ‘Civil War’. He didn’t want to hear any more about how Bucky was a terrorist, that Wanda was a murderer, that Scott and Clint were both criminals. 

T’Challa had maintained contact with Tony. The only person who had reached out apart from Steve’s letter. 

The King had insisted on completing the Accords, even though Steve had made it clear he wouldn’t sign it. T’Challa, now in America with his Dora Milaji, had brought out a copy before he had left, one he had claimed was the final, amended version. He had handed it to Steve. 

Steve hadn’t read it. Hadn’t even opened it to the first page. He couldn’t. He couldn’t see Tony’s signature on that paper, mocking him. 

Instead, he had retreated to the lab where Bucky slept, choosing to spend time with his silent friend then think about his lover. 

He knew what today was. Today was the day the Accords were to be finalised. 

T’Challa and Tony and other members of the UN, meeting in Washington to decide the fate of all heroes. 

The lab was an escape.

Sitting on a bench, Steve quietly read. He knew that reading aloud was pointless. Bucky couldn’t hear him in his sleep. But still, Steve hoped his friend knew somehow that he was there. 

By the clock on the wall, Steve could guess that the signing was underway. 

Sam had said he was going to watch it, had wanted to see what the final outcome would be. 

Steve knew that Sam would tell him later. He had told Steve about what had happened to Rhodey, explained how he and Tony had both tried to reach the falling man, described the sickening crash as Rhodey had hit the ground. Had told Steve how Tony had come to the Raft, had convinced him to give up Steve and Bucky’s location.

Even when Steve hadn’t wanted to hear it, Sam had told him what was going on. 

Leaning back against the wall, Steve shifted, felling the comforting weight of the small phone in his pocket. He hadn’t let the device out of his sight since he had posted its partner to Tony. When Tony decided to call, Steve intended to be on the other end, ready to hear him. 

Reading another page of his book, Steve enjoyed the silence. 

A silence that was broken as Sam ran into the lab. 

One look and Steve knew something was very wrong. Sam was always level-headed, even in a crisis. Now he looked panicky. 

“You need to see this!” The man said.

Steve opened his mouth to ask what was going on but Sam was already out of the room. Sliding off the bench, Steve closed his book and set it down.

“I’ll be right back.” He said to Bucky’s silent form before turning to try and find Sam. 

He located the man in the common room. Sam was standing in front of the TV, arms crossed. On the couch, Clint sat. Wanda was in his arms, shaking and quietly sobbing and Steve could see tears on Clint’s face. In the corner, Scott stood, his arm resting against the wall, his face hidden against his elbow to hide his emotions. 

Steve felt it again. The horrible feeling, like he was losing balance. Reaching for his pocket, Steve gripped the phone in his hand, hoping that it would ring. That whatever disaster that had caused this agony in his team mates was about to be resolved. That Tony was going to call.

Turning to the TV, Steve stepped towards Sam as the other man turned the volume up. 

The camera of the steps outside a court house. Steve could see T’Challa on screen, flanked by two of his body guards as he moves towards the main building. The camera turned, showing Tony stepping out of a vehicle.

Tony didn’t bother to look towards the cameras, despite the shouting journalists. 

Steve studied Tony on the screen. He looked exhausted. Dark circles were visible under his eyes and he had lost weight. Faded yellow bruises were still visible on his face.

Steve hated it. Hated that Tony looked so sick and alone.

Steve felt his grip on the phone tighten. 

Why wouldn’t Tony just call? They could sort this out.

Something was going on off screen, someone shouting. 

Tony turned. 

Steve felt his body jolt as the first gunshot went off. On screen, Tony blinked as the noise was drowned out by screams. But that didn’t cover the second gunshot.

As Steve watched the screen in horror, Tony stumbled backwards, red blood already starting to soak into his white shirt. The genius hit the ground. 

The camera was shaking, the cameraman unable to keep it steady as it turned to the crowd. 

A man was fighting against 2 security guards, gun waving around wildly as the struggle ensued.

“For Captain America!” The man was shouting. 

Steve saw the gun drop from the man’s hand, the gun that had just been fired at Tony. 

The camera turned back to the steps.

Tony was lying where he fell. T’Challa was now kneeling at his side, along with one of the bodyguards, trying to stop the bleeding. Despite the shaking of the camera, Steve could see the pools of blood under Tony, painting the white steps red. 

Tony was shaking violently, trying to say something to T’Challa as the king gripped his hand. 

The camera cut to black. 

Seconds later, a frazzled reporter appeared on screen. 

“Breaking news from Washington where shots were fired on UN representatives meeting to discuss the rewritten Sokovia Accords. So far there has been one fatality and one suspect is in custody. The fatality has been confirmed as Anthony ‘Tony’ Stark, head of Stark Industry and the former Avenger known as Iron Man.”

The phone crashed to the floor as the soldier lost his grip on the hard plastic, the rooms occupants all too caught up in their shock to notice it.

Steve felt like he was in free fall. And he was about to hit the ground.

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, I still think Steve has no clue what he had done to Tony. I mean, in the letter, he was basically expecting Tony to apologise for 'letting him down', to pity him for 'being alone'. What kind of person does that?  
> (I actually found a the full text of the letter to confirm this. It made me angry)
> 
> So yes, I think Steve is incredibly misguided in his letter and this story ends with a shock to his system. I may be encouraged to go into the grieving period or what happens next but not sure. I only had plans for these two stories.
> 
> (Initially, this scene was going to be the start of another fic I had planned, where I was going to commit the ultimate sin of re-writing a DC story in Marvel universe, but that would take too much effort considering I already have a multi-chapter Marvel fic on the go)


End file.
